Phineas and Ferb: How Not to be Seen

[Cut to a wide-angle shot of hedgerows, fields and trees.]


Major Monogram: In this picture there are forty people. None of them can be seen. In this film we hope to show you how not to be seen.

(Caption on screen: 'TRI-STATE AREA GOVERNMENT, PUBLIC SERVICE FILM NO. 42 PARA 6. "HOW NOT TO BE SEEN"')

Monogram: In this film we hope to show how not to be seen. This is Mr. Lawrence Fletcher. He can not be seen. Now I am going to ask him to stand up. Mr. Fletcher, will you stand up please?

[In the distance Lawrence stands up. There is a loud gunshot as he is shot in the stomach. He crumples to the ground.]

Monogram: This demonstrates the value of not being seen.

[Cut to another location - an empty area of scrubland ]

Monogram: In this picture we cannot see Mrs. Vivian Garcia-Shapiro. Mrs. Garcia-Shapiro, will you stand up please?

[To the right of the area Vivian stands up. A gunshot rings out, and she leaps into the air, and falls to the ground dead.]

[Cut to another area, however this time there is a bush in the middle.]

Monogram: This is Beppo Brown. Mr. Brown, would you stand up please? (after a pause - nothing happens) Mr. Brown has learned the value of not being seen. However he has chosen a very obvious piece of cover.

[The bush explodes and you hear a muffled scream. Cut to another scene with three bushes.]

Monogram: Now, Ms. Charlene Doofenshmirtz has presented us with a poser. We do not know which bush she is behind, but we can soon find out. (the left-hand bush explodes, then the right-hand bush explodes, and then the middle bush explodes. There is a muffled scream as Charlene is blown up) Yes, it was the middle one.

[Cut to a shot of a farmland area with a water barrel, a wall, a pile of leaves, a bushy tree, a parked car, and lots of bushes in the distance.]

Monogram:  Here we have Jack Johnson, who has concealed himself extremely well. He could be almost anywhere. He could be behind the wall, inside the water barrel, beneath a pile of leaves, up in the tree, squatting down behind the car, concealed in a hollow, or crouched behind any one of a hundred bushes. However we happen to know he's in the water barrel.

[The water barrel just blows up in a huge explosion. Cut to a panning shot from the beach huts to beach across the sea.]

Monogram: Clyde and Betty Jo Flynn, chose a very cunning way of not being seen. When we called at their house, we found that they had gone away on two weeks vacation. They had not left any forwarding address, and they had bolted and barred the house to prevent us from getting in. However a neighbor told us where there were.

[The camera pans around and stops on an obvious looking hut, which blows up. Cut to another house.]

Monogram: And here is the neighbor (he blows up, leaving just his boots. Cut to a shack in the desert) Here is where he lived (shack blows up - cut to a house) And this is where

Dr. Hirano, who refused to speak to us, lived (it blows up). So did the gentleman who lived here....(shot of a Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated Building - it blows up) and here.....(another building blows up) and of course here.....(a series of various bombs at the moment of impact)

[Cut back to Monogram, who is now laughing uncontrollably. He then regains his composure and stops.]

Monogram: And now, for something completely different.

[He then explodes in a cloud of smoke.]